Saturday, January 17, 2015

Mike Bara Has Returned

Hello my darlings.

I know it has been awhile since your Guru has posted on this my alternative blog.

I have been very busy making up shit and fudging facts for my latest book and have not found the time to post.

Fear not sweeties I will be posting on this blog very soon.

Love n Light and kisses your hero Mike B x x x x 

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Jose Escamilla

This is Parody!

Oh my darlings, just wanted you to listen to a recording I made off the Radio last night of Jose Escamilla.
Click the link to listen.

Jose sure is a very naughty boy.

Catch you laters my sweeties,  Love n Light MB xoxoxox

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

NASA : Famous Astronomers want to rename the brightest Star in the northern hemisphere: Reuters reports

"This is "Parody"!
The Star “Vega” the Brightest in the Northern Hemisphere is planned to be renamed “Bara” In honor of the World’s leading authority on anything he feels he is, Author and “Star” of Ancient Aliens and Moon Rising Mike Bara.

This could be the greatest thing in Astronomy since the down grading of the Planet Pluto and the “Higgs Boson God Particle”. Philip Cary Plait aka Bad Astrononmy

NASA publicly announced on their live TV feed and NASA’s Press Officer Rick Mason said “Yes we feel this is the only fitting tribute to Mike Bara after he brought us to task and highlighted all of NASA’s mistruths, lies and very poor scientific practices in the book “Dark Mission”” After making the statement he stood proud and silent as the unofficial NASA anthem was played, “Das Lied der Deutschen”, and a Nazi Swastika flag was unfurled behind him.

Bill Bryson the cuddly chubby faced amateur astronomer from Houston Texas said. “Houston we do not have a problem!” He broke into loud chortling laughter before proceeding with “I wish you and yours and Mike clear skies.” Bryson had first penned the idea to “Astronomer Weekly Magazine” The World’s oldest pier reviewed publication on Astronomy a few months ago. It was published in the magazine in the “Your Replies Section” and the momentum and positive feedback became an unstoppable force that lead us to approach first NASA and then other leading Astronomers. A spokesperson for the Magazine said.

Martin Rees, Baron Rees of Ludlow Britain’s Astronomer Royal said “I am humbled to be part of this most auspicious of occasions.  Now can I get back to bed please it is 4 am here in the UK?”

Neil deGrasse Tyson, American astrophysicist and science communicator and Frederick P. Rose Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the Rose Center for Earth and Space and a research had this to say ” I was so excited I wanted to go out into the street and grab someone and say have you heard this?” He also commented “The algebraic word النسر الواقع  for this star means Bara anyway so only slight amendments would need to be made”.

A spokes lady Miss Jose Escamilla speaking on behalf of “The Cosmos Foundation” said “My only regret is that Carl Sagan is not alive to witness this”.

Other Space agencies around the World have yet to announce any opinion on it.

Richard C Hoagland that worked with Bara on the book Dark Mission and is the faux Science correspondent for Coast to Coast AM with George Noory said “Typical I did all the donkey work and this Ass gets all the glory”.

Mike Bara himself was said to be intoxicated by the news and at this time unable to comment.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Law of Attraction The Mantra of Ultimate Manifestation English and Arabic Version


Oh my lovely readers it has been a long day for your hero Mike B. It started off badly with that letter from the Ancient Aliens Jerk Giorgio A. Tsoukalos, but being the one and the ONLY Mike Bara I shook the thought of him off like a bad case of fleas. Then I meditated on my oneness with the Cosmos, or as I like to think of it Mike Bara plus one Guest.  

My darlings you must learn the secrets of all things Bara.  But how can we Mike if you do not lead us, do not show us the way? You all ask this don’t you in the darker moments of your lives. When frightened, scared, lonely and afraid.  Well look to me look to your Guru. I am there right beside you. Your tiny fragile hand held warmly and firmly in mine. Don’t worry I won’t let you fall. Trust Mike, give yourself over to me. For my words and comfort are all you need. Yes, all you need. Turn away from false prophets like those people that wrote The Secret. They lie. Turn away from Ramtha, for that to is the Devil’s hand not mine. Abraham-Hicks, more blasphemers to your true path, and your ultimate destiny of fulfillment and total bliss. 

The way to enchantment of your molecular, cellular vibration, to balance your inner harmonizing neurons can and only will be found with Mike Bara.

So find a comfortable place. A safe place to relax and let forth positive energy con-fluxes within your inner better you. 

Ok first you must align your body exactly 19.5 Degrees from Magnetic Earth Polarconfidulations.

Now let us speak this my spiritualizing Mike Bara mantra.

The Bara Mantra of Ultimate Manifestation

Our Bara you are our savior
Your name is forever spoken
Angels sing no vow is broken
For Mike save us for you must
To Bara we give all our trust
The circle of love around us
As the stormy river flows
Is the love that Mike Bestows


لدينا بارا كنت مخلصنا
يتحدث اسمك إلى الأبد
الملائكة لا تغني النذر مكسورة
لمايك ينقذنا لك يجب
لبارا نعطي بكل ما نملك من الثقة
دائرة الحب من حولنا
كما يتدفق النهر العاصف
هو الحب الذي يمنح مايك

Repeat this mantra 19 times. Or five if a lesser effectivism is needed.

So there you are my sweet devotees this mantra will combat all evil and give you inner peace.

Do not forget to buy my book The Choice as I have personally rubbed my most holy Bara juices into every fiber of ever page, and my soul reaches out to you from The Choice, with every letter and every word.

Love n light Mike Bara. xoxoxoxoxo

Ancient Aliens Star Giorgio A. Tsoukalos writes to a STAR Mike Bara


Oh loves, your beautiful Mike B got this in the mail today. Read it viewers and say it is not so, say it say it.

September 25 2012

Dear Mike Bara,

My attention was drawn to your blog page where the title heading states that you claim to be the STAR of Ancient Aliens H2 series.
Mike I hate to have to deflate this particular bubble, but as the assistant producer of Ancient Aliens and its main commentator it is I Giorgio A. Tsoukalos that is the STAR of the show.
For Heaven’s sake Mike with all due respect you do not even have the hair for the show. Look at my Einsteinen locks Mike. I clearly am sporting the “mad genius” look.  Whereas you with your brushed forward look it speaks this to the viewer, “This guy does not even know a decent hairstylist, let alone an Ancient Alien”.This is quite frankly an embarrassment to the show.  We only kept your segments in for padding, if we had found a way to cut you from the show completely we would have done.

I wanted you out but the producer Kevin Burns overruled me on that decision.

So Mike less of the STAR of the show, an“Appendage”, would be more fitting on your blog.

Work on the hair Mike. Plugs a Toupee, or even extensions and you could be going places like me.

Remember E= MC Haired!

Faithfully yours,

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos. The new Albert Einstein    BSC AFF LLC ET AA.

What can your STAR say to that my wonderful readers?  I will cry myself to sleep tonight.

But I must press on with my quest and with your money, I mean love readers Mike B will be a STAR!

Love n Light by the bucketful  MB xoxoxoxox

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Why I Dislike Jeff Ritzmann and Jeremy Vaeni And Paratopia

This is Parody!

Hi my darlings Mike B here. I was just going through some old emails and found one from those two $hits at

I asked politely to be on their show and this is how they treated yours truly.

31 February 2012

Dear Mike,
Please stop sending me begging emails concerning being on the Paratopia podcast show.  Jeff and I think you are a fraud and a Con-Artist. Not to mention being bald a sure sign of Ufolological improprieties.
We noticed that you have appeared with Sean David Morton a proven liar in court. Birds of a feather Mike, birds of a feather.

So without any further comment from Jeff and I It would be best if you just crawled back under the rock from which you sprang.

Hope this email finds you well and in good spirits,

The Paratopia Team. 

Well darlings, what a way to talk to a STAR like me. I was shocked! I sent them 34 emails to my recollection, now that is hardly begging is it?

Sean David Morton as you know my lovely readers is a super man and Just because he makes things up does in no way mean he is a liar.

OOO I am so cross I almost kicked Mr Twinkle one of my new Cats. I know darlings not a Grey Alien Cat, just your regular tabby.

Well I just wanted my lovely fans to know how awful these no ones at Paratopia are. Also their show ended. Well good riddance to bad trash I say.

Love n Light and Blessing to all my true fans MB xoxoxoxoxoxo

The Choice, An Amazon Reviewer Writes, Damn Her Opinions

This is an actual review of Mikes book.

1.0 out of 5 stars Who is the blithering idiot now Mike ?, July 24, 2012
Emmy "Emmy" (Santa Cruz, USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Choice: Using Conscious Thought and Physics of the Mind to Reshape the World (Paperback)
I read this book on the recommendation of my son. He was laughing as he handed it to me, and, actually apologized for having me read it. But I was assured that as a retired physics teacher I would find it "amusing."
Ok, I can handle amusing. I can even handle funny. What I cannot handle is complete and utter rubbish being written about a subject I taught for 40 years.

I won't go into each error in the book. That has already been done well enough in the previous reader reviews. What I will say however is that Mike Bara should be thoroughly ashamed of himself. He must know that he is penning tripe. Is it possible that someone who does not understand the simple maths required to calculate the orbit of a satellite would be allowed to get away with writing an entire chapter about such, that is complete bunkum ?

Apparently so. The entire contents of chapter 12 are based on Mike's misunderstanding of orbital calculations. That is to say they must be measured from the center of the planet. Not the surface of the planet. It's such a disgraceful error I am shocked that it found it's way to print. Doesn't Mike have a technical editor ?

He should have. That would have saved him the huge embarrassment of being made look a fool. By the very people he despises.


The following Reply is "Parody" in the style of Mike Bara

Well Thank you Emmy for posting that review on Amazon.  I realize that I made a few errors in my book, but that is only because I do not have a clue what I am talking about. I just made it up as I went along. How else do you expect me to become a STAR if I do not have a list of books to form this foundation.

I just figured if I get my face known and do the rounds at UFO conferences people would buy my book on good faith that they would be getting some kind of hidden truth, or words of wisdom.

I on the other hand just want to make money from gullible people that buy into any old poop that self proclaimed experts like me write.

My bank and I thank you for your purchase... No refunds sorry.. if you read the small print it clearly says "sucker beware".

Love n Light and blessings  MB